Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
