Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
