She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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