it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
