wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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