apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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