Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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