Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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