It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Screwed.edu
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
