I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
