Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wear drunk well.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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