make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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