i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
