if you like me you must not know who I am
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
