I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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