No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
