There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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