Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
