forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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