I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
