U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
