You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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