I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
