at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
