I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
