Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
