how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
