So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
