hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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