Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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