yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
