he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
