She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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