he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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