Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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