new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
