Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
