these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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