Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
