It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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