Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
