U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
