I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
