Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
smell my finger.
Farmville is her only friend.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The feeling are messing with the penis
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
