Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
