belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
