It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
