i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
