Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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