Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
