I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
