I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
