Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Moan for me like Helen Keller
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
